Category: Feeling sorry

anxiety, Depressed, Education, England, Feeling sorry, Mistake, Moving, Planning, Uncategorized

My future

AthenaRT

I question my life choices every day and wonder is it enough for me to be strong-willed and stubborn.

Money plays a large fact in everyday life and with me not being apart of the top 1%, I like everyone else has to work for a living.

Hmm, I am valued by how many hours I put in and how hard I slave away. Being a number in the system doesn’t sound fun to me.

Does anyone truly have a plan for the future? I’m spending thousands of dollar (or pounds) on a chance.

The possibility of a chance to be a writer or a PR agent. What a gamble.

*** Never drink people, this was in my drafts.

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anxiety, Depressed, Education, Feeling sorry, Loneliness, Student

Anxiety Attack

AthenaRT

I had a massive anxiety attack during an interview.

So if you don’t know, I’m in college studying journalism. Yay! However, it’s crazy hard and I’ve been struggling to keep up.

The professor says that I’m taking it to serious and that I’m not doing awful.

Apparently, my mind and body are not in agreement with him.

But I was out following a story and just walked into this man’s shop. Sweet man and he had no problem letting me interview him.

I have been told that I talk to much and need to let the person speak. Well I spoke during the interview and that completely screwed me.

I got a hot flash and my ears started to ring, I got lightheaded and could hear my heartbeat in my ear.

The stress, thought and fear of failure is trying to kill me.

I stood there and let this mental attack go on because I needed this shot. This interview was so needed that I would have given up without it.

University is so stressful and I didn’t realize how much my body was suffering.

It was definitely a kick in the ass.

Depressed, Education, Feeling sorry, Planning, Student, Travel

Planning vacations.

AthenaRT

I have a 5 week vacation coming up mid- December but I’m stupid broke.

Like broke people see me and they look away trying not to show pity.

However, I have to be irresponsible and go somewhere, so when looking for inspiration I do what most people do and hit the internet.

There are so many places to visit and I cant imagine just picking one place, so I have to plan and plan and plan till I have it down to a tee.

My favorite source of planning and picking a place is Facebook. A page called Places You’ll See has shown me more places than I would have ever thought of.

Watching travel videos and going through pictures makes everything so surreal.

Buckingham, Depressed, Education, England, Feeling sorry, Loneliness, Moving, Student, Uncategorized

Job

AthenaRT

I finally got a job. After 6 weeks of being jobless and feeling depressed, I start tomorrow.

After working in a call center for 3 years and vowing to never work there again, I applied for call centers again and one said yes.

The only thing that could hinder this is me and my need to prioritize school over money. I know that I need money to go to school but I need school to stay.

Confusing, I know. The catch 22 is in full swing here but I’m excited and cant wait to make money so that I can eat properly and travel.

I need a weekend in Ireland making that will be my fifth country of the year and completing my New Year’s resolution.

Little bit of a view of what I found today. This place isn’t so boring as I originally thought, who knew.

Everyone, just not me.

Adjustment, Buckingham, Education, England, Feeling sorry, Loneliness, Mistake, Student, Travel, Tulsa, Uncategorized, Weed

My life sucks.

AthenaRT

In a previous post, I acknowledge that I feel like this move was a mistake but it feels like the mistake that keeps on giving.

My glasses broke, so for everyone that’s not 20/20, you know my pain. I ordered my replacement pair which it will take up to 14 days to get to me. Well, I woke up today with an email that says it was shipped to the wrong address.

I am blind! I can’t see a good foot in front of me. I like glasses and the fact that they allow me to see things.

Since I still have to go on interviews, work for the bulletin, complete assignments, copy lecture boards, and edit, so much editing. Glasses would be nice.

If it not one thing it’s another. I miss Smoking so much that it’s affecting the way I drink and the amount of time I spend doing bullshit.

Welcome to University, where your life will be thrown upside down with the expectancy that it will help you in the future years.

The educational system may be a scam and I fell extreme hard into reality.