Adjustment, anxiety, Buckingham, Depressed, Education, England, Feeling sorry, Loneliness, Mistake, Moving, Student

Fight

Life is looking up, I feel less out of control in certain aspects of my life. Making moves in order to chase a dream has proven to be a challenge in itself but I am ready for it… slightly.

I’m scared out of my mind and up until a day ago I was preparing to run away and hide out in the Netherlands for a month or two.

When picking a school, I thought about the school that would give me the biggest leg up in the career that I was wanting. I did not understand that that would come with a school that is not well organized nor well equipped to deal with
me and how I am making payments.

The administration is one of the biggest reasons that I’ve had so many issues with transitioning into this university life. Instead of worrying about grades and homework, I’m worried about bills and being able to eat.

I recently learned that students in California are living in their cars on campus and I was like well damn I could have done that back in the states. That is the saddest thought, outside of the crippling depression.

Yes, I have gone to see someone about it and her advice was to go home and that university is not for everyone.

WHAT? My insides were scream “how dare this lady tell you to give up!” I stared at a woman that sounded like society and nodded knowing I was not able to give up after sinking this far into debt.

Society nor depression will push me off the path to my dream job.

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Adjustment, Buckingham, Depressed, Education, England, Loneliness, Mistake, Moving, Planning, Student, Uncategorized

Exhausted

So… life is exhausting! I have worked 12-hour shifts every day for the last month. The sad part is that here, you only get paid once a month. All my work and the lack of sleep shows only once a month.

I can’t afford to breathe while paying for college and I’ve completely forgotten what I’m fighting for.

The stress of college students have has reached an all-time high, fuck those other students, my stress has reached an all-time high and I’m not even in class right now.

I couldn’t afford to leave because my university held me on a sting for 4 weeks only to tell me to wait longer.

If life is going to continue to royally fuck me I need to man up and look up. So this degree, probably won’t help with that.

I should have listened to my mother and I’m so fuckin tired.

 

Buckingham, Depressed, Travel, Uncategorized

Top five places I have to visit.

Okay, so this will more than likely change in the next 15 minutes but it’s worth a shot.

1: Cuba

I love the idea of going back in time but since that’s impossible I’ll settle for a country frozen in time. I want to see old cars and stand on the street that separates the rich from the poor. I want to eat outside and just take it all in.

 

2: Greece

Greece, Mykonos & Santorini, October 2018

This picture speaks for itself. I love water and countries surrounded by water make me so happy because I love the beach.

 

3: Morocco

Morocco, floatation, currency

I want a red house but a blue one will do as long as it close to the beach. I want to learn how to fish but I know that I don’t have that patience. Morocco is supposed to be cheap but at the same time have great quality in their products. So I want to shop and see a beach but at the meet new people.

 

4: South Korea

South Korea is a great place for an autumn holiday. There are plenty of spots to enjoy the fiery reds and oranges of fall, and have a taste of the country’s rich culture and tradition. This itinerary takes you in and around Seoul, then guides you to venture out into the countryside where you’ll see South Korea’s best spots for autumn.

They are known for their beauty, which is beyond me. I don’t know the first thing about makeup and wish I did but I have never been able to get the hang of it. Other than that, I want to sit outside and eat at one of those places that allows you to cook the meal.

 

5: Brazil

Honestly, this is because I want to see the difference between here and Cuba.

I want to go to a lot more countries but these are my top five, for now.

 

Buckingham, Depressed, Education, England, Feeling sorry, Loneliness, Moving, Student, Uncategorized

Job

I finally got a job. After 6 weeks of being jobless and feeling depressed, I start tomorrow.

After working in a call center for 3 years and vowing to never work there again, I applied for call centers again and one said yes.

The only thing that could hinder this is me and my need to prioritize school over money. I know that I need money to go to school but I need school to stay.

Confusing, I know. The catch 22 is in full swing here but I’m excited and cant wait to make money so that I can eat properly and travel.

I need a weekend in Ireland making that will be my fifth country of the year and completing my New Year’s resolution.

Little bit of a view of what I found today. This place isn’t so boring as I originally thought, who knew.

Everyone, just not me.

Adjustment, Buckingham, Education, England, Feeling sorry, Loneliness, Mistake, Student, Travel, Tulsa, Uncategorized, Weed

My life sucks.

In a previous post, I acknowledge that I feel like this move was a mistake but it feels like the mistake that keeps on giving.

My glasses broke, so for everyone that’s not 20/20, you know my pain. I ordered my replacement pair which it will take up to 14 days to get to me. Well, I woke up today with an email that says it was shipped to the wrong address.

I am blind! I can’t see a good foot in front of me. I like glasses and the fact that they allow me to see things.

Since I still have to go on interviews, work for the bulletin, complete assignments, copy lecture boards, and edit, so much editing. Glasses would be nice.

If it not one thing it’s another. I miss Smoking so much that it’s affecting the way I drink and the amount of time I spend doing bullshit.

Welcome to University, where your life will be thrown upside down with the expectancy that it will help you in the future years.

The educational system may be a scam and I fell extreme hard into reality.

Buckingham, Education, England, London, Student, Travel, Uncategorized

Outside Parliment

I spent a large amount of time during the day trying to get the perfect shot for my University assignment. This is what I got.

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The street was so busy but in a good way. The people weren’t very cooperative when asked for an interview but they were very sweet in wishing well with my project. The Supreme Court building was open to the public but served no real purpose to my trip.

There was a rather small group of people yelling at the parliament building regarding the Brexit discussion. I found them to be very aggressive but not overly aggressive that you forgot why they are there.

It was a beautiful trip and I go some of the assignment done. I hope for a more productive week but who knows.

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