Adjustment, anxiety, Budget, Cheap, Education, England, Loneliness, Planning, Student, Travel

Life without money

As much as I would like to be dripping in C notes, I’m not.

But heres the thing, I dont have expensive taste. I live paycheck to paycheck and it’s fine because i shop on the cheap always.

However, my addiction to traveling has left me wanting that lavish lifestyle. It’s forcing my mind to panic and like for money every where I turn.

I see now why people become strippers to fund school and if I was in shape I’d do it as well. But I’d also be terrible at it because I can’t dance.

Like at all. It’s a shame.

The need for a second job is pulling my down and making life hard.

Like every other self funded college student I must learn to push through.

Life has changed and I must adapt and change with it to survive.

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Adjustment, Buckingham, Education, England, Feeling sorry, Loneliness, Mistake, Student, Travel, Tulsa, Uncategorized, Weed

My life sucks.

In a previous post, I acknowledge that I feel like this move was a mistake but it feels like the mistake that keeps on giving.

My glasses broke, so for everyone that’s not 20/20, you know my pain. I ordered my replacement pair which it will take up to 14 days to get to me. Well, I woke up today with an email that says it was shipped to the wrong address.

I am blind! I can’t see a good foot in front of me. I like glasses and the fact that they allow me to see things.

Since I still have to go on interviews, work for the bulletin, complete assignments, copy lecture boards, and edit, so much editing. Glasses would be nice.

If it not one thing it’s another. I miss Smoking so much that it’s affecting the way I drink and the amount of time I spend doing bullshit.

Welcome to University, where your life will be thrown upside down with the expectancy that it will help you in the future years.

The educational system may be a scam and I fell extreme hard into reality.

Adjustment, England, Loneliness, Mistake, Moving, Student, Travel, Uncategorized

I Made a Mistake

I left my family, friends, job, everything I knew for a dream and the perfect school for that dream. Every morning I wake up and I ask myself is this what I wanted?

I’m 25, which isn’t old to me but is to this school causing me to stick out like a sore thumb. I don’t belong here and I see that, not just on my face in the mirror but on the face of others. Big school in a little town, surrounded by older people and me, that one struggling to survive American.

I think I made a mistake.

My personality doesn’t belong here. The class is different to the point where I want to cry and have because I’m just not getting it. The words, “Don’t cry in front of people”, plays on a loop inside my head.

Why do you other people feel? Do they have the support of family, are they drowning like me?

I moved to Buckingham for school and it’s just me. I don’t have family support or funding, like others, nor will my proud allow me to ask for it.

What did I do?