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Adjustment, anxiety, Buckingham, Depressed, Education, England, Feeling sorry, Loneliness, Mistake, Moving, Student

Fight

Life is looking up, I feel less out of control in certain aspects of my life. Making moves in order to chase a dream has proven to be a challenge in itself but I am ready for it… slightly.

I’m scared out of my mind and up until a day ago I was preparing to run away and hide out in the Netherlands for a month or two.

When picking a school, I thought about the school that would give me the biggest leg up in the career that I was wanting. I did not understand that that would come with a school that is not well organized nor well equipped to deal with
me and how I am making payments.

The administration is one of the biggest reasons that I’ve had so many issues with transitioning into this university life. Instead of worrying about grades and homework, I’m worried about bills and being able to eat.

I recently learned that students in California are living in their cars on campus and I was like well damn I could have done that back in the states. That is the saddest thought, outside of the crippling depression.

Yes, I have gone to see someone about it and her advice was to go home and that university is not for everyone.

WHAT? My insides were scream “how dare this lady tell you to give up!” I stared at a woman that sounded like society and nodded knowing I was not able to give up after sinking this far into debt.

Society nor depression will push me off the path to my dream job.

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Adjustment, Buckingham, Depressed, Education, England, Loneliness, Mistake, Moving, Planning, Student, Uncategorized

Exhausted

So… life is exhausting! I have worked 12-hour shifts every day for the last month. The sad part is that here, you only get paid once a month. All my work and the lack of sleep shows only once a month.

I can’t afford to breathe while paying for college and I’ve completely forgotten what I’m fighting for.

The stress of college students have has reached an all-time high, fuck those other students, my stress has reached an all-time high and I’m not even in class right now.

I couldn’t afford to leave because my university held me on a sting for 4 weeks only to tell me to wait longer.

If life is going to continue to royally fuck me I need to man up and look up. So this degree, probably won’t help with that.

I should have listened to my mother and I’m so fuckin tired.

 

Adjustment, anxiety, Budget, Cheap, Education, England, Loneliness, Planning, Student, Travel

Life without money

As much as I would like to be dripping in C notes, I’m not.

But heres the thing, I dont have expensive taste. I live paycheck to paycheck and it’s fine because i shop on the cheap always.

However, my addiction to traveling has left me wanting that lavish lifestyle. It’s forcing my mind to panic and like for money every where I turn.

I see now why people become strippers to fund school and if I was in shape I’d do it as well. But I’d also be terrible at it because I can’t dance.

Like at all. It’s a shame.

The need for a second job is pulling my down and making life hard.

Like every other self funded college student I must learn to push through.

Life has changed and I must adapt and change with it to survive.

anxiety, Depressed, Education, England, Feeling sorry, Mistake, Moving, Planning, Uncategorized

My future

I question my life choices every day and wonder is it enough for me to be strong-willed and stubborn.

Money plays a large fact in everyday life and with me not being apart of the top 1%, I like everyone else has to work for a living.

Hmm, I am valued by how many hours I put in and how hard I slave away. Being a number in the system doesn’t sound fun to me.

Does anyone truly have a plan for the future? I’m spending thousands of dollar (or pounds) on a chance.

The possibility of a chance to be a writer or a PR agent. What a gamble.

*** Never drink people, this was in my drafts.

Budget, Cheap, Planning, Student, Travel

Travel on the cheap

Okay, so this part of life is extremely important. I always travel on the cheap and find that when I do it’s a better experience.

Airlines have a lot of cheap seats and they tend to be at their cheapest a few months in advance. Booking at least 3 months ahead helps.

When I do book in advance I think of it as this, buy now spend less and enjoy more.

Cheapest airlines are more than likely gonna be your local ones. So look at those first and save some time.

If all else fails, book 2 separate legs, meaning don’t book that super expensive flight check for one way connecting flights.

Once the flight is booked, you need to find a place to stay.

Like flights, hotels run deals and specials all year long. However, if you are wanting to save like I do, pick a hostel.

Hostel World is my go to for travelling. You pick a city and country then set your price range and they give you what’s available.

I have no problem sharing a room and most hostels have lockers so you have some security.

Food wise, I got smarter as I moved around. Most cities have community functions where food is provided, take advantage of that.

If you’re hard up for cash and need food, go to local spots, such as food markets or strips and bargain, trading items is still a thing.

Nine times out of ten, you end up on top.

I had to remember that things are free you just have to ask about them.

✌🏽

anxiety, Depressed, Education, Feeling sorry, Loneliness, Student

Anxiety Attack

I had a massive anxiety attack during an interview.

So if you don’t know, I’m in college studying journalism. Yay! However, it’s crazy hard and I’ve been struggling to keep up.

The professor says that I’m taking it to serious and that I’m not doing awful.

Apparently, my mind and body are not in agreement with him.

But I was out following a story and just walked into this man’s shop. Sweet man and he had no problem letting me interview him.

I have been told that I talk to much and need to let the person speak. Well I spoke during the interview and that completely screwed me.

I got a hot flash and my ears started to ring, I got lightheaded and could hear my heartbeat in my ear.

The stress, thought and fear of failure is trying to kill me.

I stood there and let this mental attack go on because I needed this shot. This interview was so needed that I would have given up without it.

University is so stressful and I didn’t realize how much my body was suffering.

It was definitely a kick in the ass.

Buckingham, Depressed, Travel, Uncategorized

Top five places I have to visit.

Okay, so this will more than likely change in the next 15 minutes but it’s worth a shot.

1: Cuba

I love the idea of going back in time but since that’s impossible I’ll settle for a country frozen in time. I want to see old cars and stand on the street that separates the rich from the poor. I want to eat outside and just take it all in.

 

2: Greece

Greece, Mykonos & Santorini, October 2018

This picture speaks for itself. I love water and countries surrounded by water make me so happy because I love the beach.

 

3: Morocco

Morocco, floatation, currency

I want a red house but a blue one will do as long as it close to the beach. I want to learn how to fish but I know that I don’t have that patience. Morocco is supposed to be cheap but at the same time have great quality in their products. So I want to shop and see a beach but at the meet new people.

 

4: South Korea

South Korea is a great place for an autumn holiday. There are plenty of spots to enjoy the fiery reds and oranges of fall, and have a taste of the country’s rich culture and tradition. This itinerary takes you in and around Seoul, then guides you to venture out into the countryside where you’ll see South Korea’s best spots for autumn.

They are known for their beauty, which is beyond me. I don’t know the first thing about makeup and wish I did but I have never been able to get the hang of it. Other than that, I want to sit outside and eat at one of those places that allows you to cook the meal.

 

5: Brazil

Honestly, this is because I want to see the difference between here and Cuba.

I want to go to a lot more countries but these are my top five, for now.