Okay, so the flights from Vegas to Barcelona were great but not everything was a cake walk. Let’s start with the airport, so I got lost in the London airport, twice. I asked a security guard where to go and he pointed me in the wrong direction with 13 minutes til the gate closed. After following his directions and getting lost, I asked an person at random and to be expected they were wrong. Five minutes til the gate closes, I find out that I’m on the opposite side of the airport. So I hauled ass running through the airport with my computer in hand. I make it to the gate with no minutes to spare but they had a line so me being late fortunately okay.
The flight to Barcelona was only three hours long but felt like five minutes, because I kept nodding off. Since I’ve never been out of the country before my thoughts on how my passport was going to be stamped was simple. I get off the plane, walk down the terminals and out into the passport stamp office. Boy, was I stupid! They let us off the plane where buses waited for us, they drove use to a side door and let us out. I’m walking mindlessly behind strangers who start to whisper the word immigration a lot. I thought there were joking and I decided to see for myself. So I peep around the group of people in front of me and see five guys behind windows waving for people to come up. To me, I didn’t see them as immigration but admissions officials who were letting you in to a cool ride. It took all of seven minutes so no complaints on that.
Once on the other side, I kept following other people like a lost puppy. I grab my checked bag and head for the exit but with all the excitement I forgot to check my phone. Yup you guessed it, I have no service. Which means I have no internet for maps, so I got lost as soon as I left the airport. Not knowing what to do, I went back to the airport to bum WiFi and FaceTime my grandma. I don’t think she’s ever done FaceTime before because her camera was pointed at her ear, she tried though.
With my grandma on my phone issue, I was able to ask this sweet old man where the train station was. He didn’t speak English but he used his hands when he spoke so I was able to get him and get to where I needed to be.
Long story short: I hate the process of traveling but I loved where it took me.
I thought today would be a happy day, because there’s no turning back now but I’m nervous and the day started off different than I had hoped. Before leaving I checked and rechecked everything then headed downstairs but I still feel like I left something behind. What am I forgetting? Passport, check. Wallet, check. Camera, check. School books, unfortunately, check. What was missing? I thought about the classes I would be missing out on while on this trip, but those thoughts were quickly overpowered by my excitement. Today’s new place was Vegas. The drive to the airport was filled with music and thankfully the driver asked little questions. It was of course 4 in the morning so he probably just wanted to enjoy the drive.
When I made it to the airport there’s a line of people all waiting to get situated. So, I pick a corner, make a spot for myself and call my mother. Why is it that when times are hard or we need a little push, we go back to our parents? Almost as if we are saying, you brought me into this world, now fix my mess. I sat in a corner for 2 hours before they let us check in. I had forgotten how shitty the airport was, which is my fault if I had remembered I would have grabbed some McDs on the way here. Waiting for the plane was the hardest part, I wanted to walk around but the flight attendants kept changing their minds. One moment they are ready the next they’re not. I tried getting up to leave 4 times before giving up, mentally telling McDs I’m sorry and sitting back down.
Once we were all boarded, the flight attendants gave us the rundown while I started to nod off. Not hearing us take off, I jump awake as we hit turbulence. The girl next to me pats me on the shoulder and goes back to watching her show as I lean back and fade back into sleep. I don’t know what happened but I used to love flying as a kid. Did I grow up or did the flight change? Hmm, I guess I’ll never know. As I fade I finally remember, I forgot to say goodbye to everyone.
I am a firm believer that you should never die in the same place you were born. Life brought you here why not let it take you somewhere else? In all honesty, I feel trapped. Trapped in a job where people fight to be seen while at the same time they cry because it’s too hard. I’m stuck in an endless cycle of nothingness, seeing other people fight for a spot they truly don’t want makes me worry about what’s left of me. I question if this is real life or just my life. What do others see as they walk amongst their peers? Do they question their existence as I do? If so, what are the answers? Please tell me.
I have been in the same place for 5 years, just going through the motions. Begging for someone to see me and understand that this hole is getting darker as the day goes on. I sit silently and fake the smile that everyone sees, give a laugh at what should be funny, and then go home to cry into a bottle of tequila till I pass out. The next day, I’d wake up and do it again. Endless cycle with no peace in sight. So, it’s time for a change! I want this year to welcome me into a new chapter of my life, hopefully, a happier chapter. I promised myself that I would get out and do better, I want to visit five countries this year. In an attempt to get to the point where I see an adventure and not the gloom that floats above me. This journey is to save me.
Live life, be free-spirited and achieve happiness. Athena
Thanks for joining me!
Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton